Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
