I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
