I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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