I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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