Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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