Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
