But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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