yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
