and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
