im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Randomize
