Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
