if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
