I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
