Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize