One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize