dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
