Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
