i can't believe i had my finger in that
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
