You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
