I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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