I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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