I'm drive I can fine osifer
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
