just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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