Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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