What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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