WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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