Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
