what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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