By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
