I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
