and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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