i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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