no. you can't hotbox the world.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
