Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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