If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
