my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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