i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
