i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Buhtt sex?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize