I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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