Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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