Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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