It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
