You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
