Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I think your dad took our porno
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
FUCK WHALES
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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