people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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