You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
50% drunk capacity currently
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
