You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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