the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
it's like heaven, but drunker
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
