the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
