I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
