im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
