My hand turned me down
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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