She's JV to your varsity
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
