omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
