I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
