On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize
