garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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