Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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