he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
it's like heaven, but drunker
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
