butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
