Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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