Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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