I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
