You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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