You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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