its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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